Archive for the ‘Commonly Asked Interracial Dating Questions’ Category

Solving Compatibility Issues in Interracial Relationships

Saturday, July 9th, 2016

Just as regular dating sites are flooding the internet, mixed dating sites are also doing the same. People are now able to make friends from more than one continent, friends that may end up making an impact in their lives. Irrespective of who you meet and where they come from, both parties must be compatible in order for anything meaningful to come out of the relationship. Compatibility is however one major challenge that has been identified with online dating especially interracial relationships. It’s understandable anyway because people tend to have varying views to ideas and life in general. Variety they say is the spice of life so find a way to solve that compatibility issue and you’ll start seeing that diversity truly makes life more interesting. In order to successfully deal with compatibility issues, you have to change your view of certain things some of which are discussed below.

Learn the Truth about Perfection

Some men may say “She doesn’t have the kind of features I desire so we can’t be compatible”. In as much as you want to have everything you have ever dreamt of in one woman, that’s just wishful thinking. It’s almost never possible to have such a woman that perfectly matches your taste. Same it is for women searching for men too. You should be willing to tradeoff some features for others as that’s the simple truth about perfection. Your main focus should be how to quickly become compatible with whoever you meet as long as she has some features you admire. The fact that you met someone who is about 95% what you desire in your dream woman doesn’t automatically guarantee you being compatible with her. Don’t be surprised that it’ll never work in some cases no matter how hard you try.

Accommodating Cultural Differences

At first you might be excited at the prospect that you are meeting someone who is not in your race but that should be momentary because it’s not a major factor that decides if you both will be compatible or not. You have to first of all spend quality time with each other discussing about your cultures and the strangest activities involved in each. At least when someone learns about the worst things to expect from a particular culture, it becomes easier coping with more subtle information or activities from the same culture. Once you have exchanged information on each other’s cultures and still don’t see any reason why you both can’t be together, then the journey of a highly compatible relationship may just have begun.

Accommodating Personal Differences

This is a very sensitive issue as it’s the root cause of incompatibility in most relationships whether in similar race or different races. Lovers after discussing each other’s culture and accepting to build a strong relationship may hit the rock not too long after due to personal differences. As a man, you should accord some respect to your spouse, while the woman is supposed to be submissive; but these days, we see men and women that are unable to swallow their pride. The simple phrase “I’m sorry” they say heal wounds but that same phrase happens to be the most difficult thing for some to say. Once lovers can learn to accommodate each other’s differences and apologize when needed, you’ll find compatibility issues being a thing of the past in interracial relationships. Understanding between both parties is another factor that determines how compatible a relationship will be. If you sense that your man has a high temper, you should be able to avoid things that will quickly get him upset. Once that high level of understanding is present in a relationship, compatibility issues will definitely be a thing of the past.

In conclusion, compatibility is a broad topic on its own and cuts across all kinds of relationship be it interracial relationship, racial relationship, or even family relationship. However with the three important tips discussed above, you should be able to build a highly compatible mixed dating relationship with any one you choose to love.

Stupid Things People Say About Interracial Dating and How You Should React

Thursday, February 11th, 2016

Granted, there is a world of difference between reacting to some jerk on the street and reacting to someone in your family who may have an objection to who you’re dating. However, if you respect your partner and respect your friend or family member who is voicing their concern, then you may want to memorize what to say in advance.

This will ensure that you get the point across.

1.“Aren’t you afraid what people will think?”

Thankfully, we live in a society that is far more tolerant of diversity and interracial couples than we’ve ever had before. Today, most millennials are not being harassed by each other—they’re being harassed by older conservatives who think interracial dating is wrong. But according to many reports, such as Pew Research, most younger people are accepting of mixed marriages. Anywhere from 88 to 93 percent of all millennials approve of interracial relationships. So the majority is on your side!

2.“Traitor!”

Surprisingly, some black women report problems with black men mocking them for their choice of a white or Asian boyfriend. Even though they may be joking, this does indicate some passive-aggressive resentment. Of course, you know that race is just the peripheral difference between you two and there is so much more about a person to fall in love with. Where is this coming from? Most “haters” are jealous of you; maybe they realize that you can catch anyone you want and now they’re pouting over losing you as an option. Or maybe they just have some secret interracial attractions themselves that they can’t admit. In any event, don’t sink to their level of immaturity by rising to the bait. Just laugh it off and say “You couldn’t handle me so I found someone who could!”


3.“I have an interracial relationship once…let me tell you about it.”

It is kind of funny how many people insist on saying “Hey, I know so and so and he’s like you!” as a topic of
conversation. It’s not very polite, but it’s usually not maliciously motivated. All these people are doing is saying, “They are OK with your relationship.” And deep down, they are probably quite envious that you can enjoy interracial dating. Maybe they never could. Maybe they had a different-race partner a long time ago but the relationship ended sourly. Who knows? If they’re still lonely and single, then encourage them to get out and start dating again, and maybe they can find happiness like you did.

4.”What do your parents think?”

Either your parents are OK with it and happy for you, or they’re giving you a hard time about it. So this is a bit of a rude question to ask somebody. What does any parent think of their child finding love? Hopefully, their parents are happy for them and if not, it’s doubly important for all of us as a society to be supportive. Therefore, we suggest you simply tell someone who asks this question…“They love it!” And if they don’t love it you remain hopeful that they get over their silly prejudices and accept you for who you are.

Rather than fan the flames of hatred and family divisions by arguing and name calling, the best thing to do is to talk things out and educate those who may be ignorant.

You may check more on http://www.blackwomenwhitemenmeet.com/blogs/interracial-dating-advice/the-stupidest-things-that-people-say-about-interracial-dating/

5 things I learned from dating single white women

Wednesday, December 9th, 2015

During my childhood years in Northern Kentucky, I always found myself being the only kind who was Black in my classes. When I went to high school, I was happy to see that there were some other Black students too. Due to my upbringing, I have always found myself dating white guys.

While there are some similarities just like when dating any kind of man out there, I have realized that there is a small cultural quirk which never goes unnoticed when dating a white dude. For instance, here are 5 things that black women looking for white men should know.

They don’t seem to understand the hair thing

In most cases, it will start innocently like, ‘did you get your hair cut’ after you are done washing it and it shrinks. However, this isn’t the end. From protecting your hair with the satin cap to moisturizing, your guy will always finding something interesting and new discover about your hair. It is explaining gets easier day by day, the problem is that you will always keep on explaining.

The N-word isn’t in their vocabulary

As I date black men, one of the questions that I have always found myself being asked is how I feel when rappers use the N- word in their songs. What I have come to learn is that while these white guys don’t want to say about this world, they are also not willing to talk about the reason some people do.

Fried chicken is something that will always embarrass them

There is no one who doesn’t love fried chicken in this country. The white man however is too aware of stereotypes and generalizations associated with a fried chicken and everything you are passing a KFC, they will always be torn and feel very embarrassed.
They need assistance to know what is the best thing they should tell their friends
You might be wrong to think that everyone is living in the post racial society because most of his friends are less enlightened than he is. Their friends will always insist on being told what the difference is even when there is apparently no difference. So, you should never be afraid of giving him a script and helping him out where necessary.

Meeting your family makes him scared too

You are wrong to think that black single women dating white dudes are the only ones afraid of meeting their partner’s family as white men do as well. While he may pretend to be bold, he is also scared that your family might retaliate for enduring the embarrassment when growing up. This is an area where the two of you will need to assist one another and know what is best for the two of you.
Finally, always expect to learn lots of things from your white dude too. Just as you might think that there are things he doesn’t know too much about, he also needs that you need to be updated as well on certain things.

(Black women white men) Are you worried about people looking at you differently when you date a person of different ethnic.

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

 

 

 

 

In the process of getting involved in love, there are many theories on whom you are attracted and how you fall in love and it takes a little longer time to understand that love happened from a sun- conscious level and you do not have a control over it. Of course, you have to be rational and analytical before you embark on the next voyage of marriage with the loved one.

 

In the process of love, it is always possible that you will fall in love with a person of a different race, different culture and even with a different faith altogether. You may be involved in interracial dating. It is also possible that some of you may prefer to choose a date within your own community, race or ethnic group to avoid unnecessary issues involved with it. But, when you talk to people who date interracially, they do say that dating someone from a different cultural background or race could give an interesting experience in knowing their heritage.

 

You have to take a rational decision when you are interested in a date from a different culture or different race. Relatives, friend of yours or even passerby’s may stare at you, when you happen to be with your date of a different race or ethnicity. Some may even pass adverse comments not palatable at all.  Never mind, it’s your freedom and choice to choose a person with whom you date, and the rest are outsiders and they do not have any right to pass judgment on your dating. However, if you want the support and blessing of your parents, it is better to let them know well in advance of your intentions. This would help you in taking forward your dating towards marriage, as your parents and members of the family would be in a position to defend you against any comments from your relatives or friends.

 

Dating someone from a different race and faith opens door for interracial and interfaith exploration and enriches your experience with others. As dating is considered as a process of exploring, the interracial person chosen should be mentally and emotionally strong and have a common shared vision.

(interracial dating) Is it frustrating that you cannot express your feelings in your mother tongue?

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

 

 

 

Expression of love in a desired form is the most important aspect in dating.

Communication is the most effective way of expressing your love to a dear one whom you adore and like to date. If you are an English speaking native and fall in love with an English speaking date, you may not anticipate any problem in conveying your feelings, as the mother tongue is common to both of you. You will also feel comfortable and assured when you converse in your mother tongue, as with that mother tongue you have learnt to think, communicate and also acquired an intuitive understanding of the grammar. However, imagine a situation where an English-speaking native dates an East Asian whose mother tongue is Japanese or Korean.

Of course, in the process of conveying his/her interest in dating, he/she would have employed all the resources in the world including some metaphors, to attract the attention of the date. But do you think they were able to express their feelings to the satisfaction of the date? Let’s explore.

In the initial dates of dating, it is commonly observed, that dater with different mother tongue, do not experience any difficulty in knowing the intention of the date, as actions are more than sufficient to express the love. But as the days progress and the interest in dating furthers to the stage of getting married, do you think the date can fully express the  feelings to the  partner in his/her mother tongue?

Alternatively, would it be better to learn the mother tongue of the partner, so that they are in a better position to express their feelings otherwise in a married life and in the process of bringing up their children they may encounter some difficulties in implementing their ideas and thoughts. Speaking in the mother tongue of your partner always carry its advantages, as your partner has been brought up with that language, and he/she would feel home and comfortable.

It can be sometimes awful and irritating, when you are not able to express your feelings in your own language, but worry not for love has no language.