What to Say to a Racist About Interracial Dating



It’s very uncomfortable and almost shocking when a family member or friend shows prejudice against your interracial partner or the desire you have to marry someone of a different race. While many people may feel that shunning or shaming the bigot is the best way to handle this, you may want to find another way. Perhaps it would be be better to try to change the mind of this person rather than lose a good friend entirely. It can be done if you try to reason with the person about your interracial dating.

Remember Where the Misunderstanding Comes From

If the intolerant person tries to hide behind a religious viewpoint, then consider the following. The bible has never condemned interracial relationships. Some of the misunderstanding comes from early Hebrew accounts of Israelites who were told not to marry into “foreign nations.” However, this was in reference to a difference in religion and not race. Israelites were not even white, they were of the tribe of Israel and later the tribe of Judah, who became the Jews. They were told not to be seduced into serving other Gods by foreign women.

Now doesn’t it seem logical that if you are attracted to another Christian, it really doesn’t matter what race they are—only that you share the same morals, values and goals in life. Race is meaningless, considering that Christianity teaches that all men descended from one family. The bible even speaks favorably of gentiles, and other races, such as Ethiopians, Romans and Persians, who joined the congregation of early Christians.

What About King Solomon?

You may vaguely remember the example of Solomon who supposedly loved many foreign wives, and thus broke God’s commandment about only marrying Israelite women. First, the only reason it was listed a sin against God is because he was seduced into serving “false Gods” by his wives, who were not only of different races, but also different religions. Jewish law also teaches that Solomon violated the principle of staying fidelity to one wife by multiplying his wives to an obscene degree.

However, God never actually told him not to marry another race—He only warned him of being seduced by women who worshiped other Gods, and that is what broke Solomon’s long record of faithfulness in the end. He allowed his wives to change his religion.

Another misunderstood account is that of Ham, the son of Noah. His descendants, the Canaanites, were said to be cursed. However, modern scholars believed that the “curse”, or justification for war, was fulfilled in the Israelites’ relationship with the Canaanites. Besides, practically all views that support genetic purity come from racially segregated times as well as ideologies that justified African American slavery.

All of these antiquated views have been debunked by biblical scholars, historians and most evangelicals of the modern era. Martin Luther King, Jr. even called the biblical justification argument “blasphemy” against everything the bible stands for.

While interracial dating are a beautiful thing, the need to find another Christian who can support you spiritually is an important issue. This is why it’s advisable to use a Christian connecting service that yokes believers with other believers!

Leave a Reply